Friday, December 5, 2008

You are My Sunshine.

"... you'll never know dear, how much i love you. "


graycen is going to be the best big sis, ever. she's already saying things like, "mommy and the baby want water. mommy and the baby want a snack."
ugh! this makes me heart skip beats:)


in the last few days graycen has managed to turn napkins, leaves, blankets, soap, toothbrushes, c.d.'s, lotion, cheese puffs, ornaments, candy canes, crayons, glue, and boots into her "baby." to say i am happy to be pregnant would be an understatement. man, is she one cool chick.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Thanksgiving .

the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade was amazing.
thanksgiving dinner was delicious.
graycen and ava made christmas cookies.
we put up our tree...
oh... and this!
graycen is going to be a big sister and joanthan and i are going to have two kids!!! oh my goodness... our cup over flows. we are so happy as we have been trying for the last couple of months and realize that now is the time that God has chosen for this little "poppy seed" to be growing inside of my belly! oh the gift of a child!!! i am so blessed and excited. i am feeling really great so far. i've been a little tired, but other than that, i have felt fine. i have been crying non stop while i look at graycen and think about the fact that she is going to have a sibling. it's so amazing!!! i can't wait to create a unique bond with our child, and love it for all the similarities and differences that this little life will contain.
Psalm 139:13 "for You formed my inward parts. You wove me in my mother's womb."

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

School Feast.

Last week, gray's school requested that we bring in a white pillow case for the kids to dye for their thanksgiving feast. they turned them into dresses that they wore for their feast. graycen loved hers so much she wore it up until she changed for p.j.'s last night. i have to say that i too was quite smitten with the pillowcase and thought she looked absolutely adorable. i am always so happy that graycen goes to this school. jonathan and i were talking last night how cool it was that they did all that. they cooked a turkey and the kids sat at a long table eating mashed potatoes and veggies. on the car ride home graycen was listing off all the things she was thankful for. here is her list. ( i promise you that i had no influence over this. i just listened.) 1. Jesus 2. daddy jonathan 3. mommy allison 4. hudson 5. ariel 6. cinderella 7. food

... and gray, i am SO thankful for you!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Thanksgiving Menu.

Here's What's On The Menu:

Turkey/ Gravy
Parmesan Baked Mash Potatoes
Sweet Potato Gnocchi
Green Beans with crispy bacon
Sage and Thyme Stuffing
Cranberry Relish

Pumpkin Pie
Apple Pie

and a great bottle of wine:)

Saturday, November 22, 2008

I'll Cry If I Want To.

"... you would cry too, if it happened to you."

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Topsy, Turvy.

crying, screaming matches, battle of the wills, who can hold out longer, stomp their feet louder, make their point first. who can recover faster, only in time for round two. heartache, failure, confused, overwhelmed, laughing, loving, kissing, hugging, tired, exhausted, charming, lovely, annoying, and blessed. yup, that just about does it. that pretty much sums up my week of emotions with graycen. something has happened to her. and i have to say goodbye to yet a another part of her babyness. bye bye passive gray. hello little girl just like me.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

First Snow.

Creeping into graycen's room, i gave her a tap and whispered, "there's something for you outside." with a little gasp and a rub of the eyes, graycen crawled out of bed and over to her window. she took a peak and didn't say a word. in the tiniest voice that could make a person melt, she said "snoooooow." she turned back to me and said, "CAN I PLAY IN IT??? WOOHOOO! SNOW!!!! LET"S GO!!! I NEED BOOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!" so that's what we did. an early morning, play in the snow for the first time this year, freeze your butt off, hardly even awake play date. me and her and the dog.  coffee awaited me, and for graycen a nice warm waffle with heated maple syrup in front of the fireplace. it was a good morning.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The Elf on the Shelf.

I am sorry to be putting stuff up about Christmas already. i don't mean to be rushing Thanksgiving by any means... but at the chance that people don't have this book already, and they will want it in time for Christmas, i wanted to write about it now. Even if you don't get the book, you can visit the web site. it's absolutely charming. Jonathan and i stumbled upon this book in Burlington Vt. a couple of years ago, and knew we would want to start this tradition with graycen when she got of age to understand it. well, the year has come. i can't wait to open it. we've been going on the web site, which graycen loves. there you can make santa cookies, and the elves will package them and send them to him. you can find recipes and ask the elves funny questions. go here to order the book.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Back pack. Back pack.

I got graycen her back pack from this great store here in new york. but so many people have asked about it, that i did some research and found it here, on- line. graycen has the bunny one, but how cute is the monkey?! oh i just love these!

Sunday, November 16, 2008


her little body makes me laugh with joy and i treasure everything we do. 

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Pumpkin Bread.

Tonight graycen and i made pumpkin bread from scratch. and oh. my. goodness did it come out good. i sort of flipped when i saw the mini aprons they had at i ordered one for graycen right away, as she is always the first to initiate baking. "let's make this!" so today she put on her new apron and we went to town with flour, sugar, eggs, pumpkin puree, and whole lot of mess. and 1 hour later we had delicious, warm pumpkin bread. (oven timer going off just as jonathan walked in.) sometimes i time these things so well. graycen was so proud of our "pumpkin patch bread." we dug in with delight.

Pretty In Pink.

38 degrees, 6:45 a.m., slippers, bathrobe, black coffee, and this. look what God gave me when i woke up this morning. He painted our whole house a hint of pink, and when i stepped out on the front porch, i was greeted by this picture. i ran and grabbed my camera and thanked God for reminding me, that He really is in control, and what a prettier picture is painted when He is. 


"This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

Monday, November 10, 2008

The Movies.

Saturday, my friend Tali and i took gray and her daughter, Ava to see Madagascar. It was a 10:00 am showing, and the girls were so excited (insert- lots and lots of high pitched screams). i brought some blankets so they would be cozy and we got them both a drink, a popcorn, and some little piece of candy that came with it. we upgraded their cups to the "madagascar" theme cups and we were all ready to go. this came to a grand total of $49.00. seriously, i am not kidding! a 10:00 matinee and yea, well... in the end it was worth every penny. but come on! movie theaters- are you kidding!? okay, well, i got off of subject a little. but like i was saying, the girls had so much fun. they sat there in awe, and got up to dance when a really great, loud, funny song came on. tali and i were laughing the whole time, some times at the movie, but mostly at our girls. what great little people they are. grabbing a movie on a saturday with their mommy's and being so good while at it. we had such a fun time! we love you tali and ava!!!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Best Friends.

Jonathan and i were able to go out friday night on a date. my in-laws came over that night around 6:30 to watch gray. that morning i had gotten my hair cut. i felt fresh, and i felt ready for this. i got ready, put on a black shirt, black pants, and my vintage cowboy boots. threw on a coat, and was ready to go. j- came down stairs smelling of burberry brit, and looking so handsome in a green wooly polo sweater. agh, how i miss my husband. day to day, we can go through the motions and rarely take the time we should to reconnect. but friday night, we did. we went out labeling ourselves as best friends first, then husband and wife. we went out to eat, and sat at the bar, having a few drinks. jonathan was making me laugh the kind of laugh where i threw my head back and swore i was gonna choke. this went on.. all... night.. long. it was great. all this while gray was laying snuggy in bed, while her grandmother aka pips,  sang her to sleep and her grandfather aka poppy, kissed her goodnight. gray, i am so glad your parents are able to act as adults and best friends, and be deeply, deeply in love. 

Friday, November 7, 2008

125th Street.

Last night i took gray on the train, to harlem, to meet up with "daddy jonathan." he was getting off work, and we were hungry. and like the lovely man i have, he was right there on the platform waiting to give us both super sized hugs and kisses. from there we got to go check out his job and walk around harlem for a bit. people were in such good spirits, so happy about obama. there wasn't a cab insight that wasn't decked out with obama '08 stickers. it felt very patriotic, and it felt very real. we cabbed it to dinosaur bbq which was sooooo delicious. gray acted like the perfect little lady she is, and ate her wings. and jonathan and i acted like the little piggies we are and gobbled up our ribs. i took this picture of graycen last night, and this morning really fell in love with it. the upside of harlem is very up. there are parts of harlem that has a warmth of southern charm, like people just got out of church feel, and it's very focused on food. this picture in my mind, brings our two worlds together. little gray, rocking her wings in harlem. just beautiful.  

Thursday, November 6, 2008

The Public Library.

Yesterday Graycen and i went down to the river and ate lunch. it was a nice 62 degrees and we enjoyed every second of it. but while i was walking around with her, i was thinking about the library. it is so close to where we were. and i was thinking, "could she go her whole life and never know about a library?" no one talks about them anymore. is it even learned about in school? do they teach how to look up a book, or how to put it back in its place? the internet sort of rules over that i think... so i took her. it was such an awesome experience!!! and people STILL go!!! it was full of people. it was such an urban, cool vibe. there was so much local art all over the walls. kids stuff everywhere. big comfy couches. and books, books, books. i think graycen thought i had taken her to the best place on earth. we read for over an hour. and i left with dry mouth. hint- next time i go to the library with gray, bring water. this girl wants to read, and read, and read. so that's exactly what we did.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

True Change.


Gray- you are a part of history in the making!!!! i can't wait till you can tell your children about this. Barack Obama has won by a landslide. and now my hope is that he can really make some changes that will benefit this whole nation. i want it better for GRAY!!!!!! 


graycen has been calling him rack obobble. it makes me laugh everytime because in my mind i see him as a bobble head figure when she says this. well, today the "bobble" is the 44th president! 

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Made to Dance. I think so.

A little over three years ago, i was laying in a dark room, sick as could be. nervous, overwhelmed, and full of fear. i was getting my first ultra sound, when i saw graycen's little body dancing all over the screen. there, we nicknamed her "tiny dancer." it's very appropriate. 

"Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand.
  And now she's in me. always with me. tiny dancer in my hand."- Elton John

Monday, November 3, 2008

Size Matters.

We spent the weekend, cozied up to one another, kicking off november perfectly with a hike in the palisades. graycen started ice skating this weekend. 4 times around the rink, i could not stop her. with her little legs flailing out from underneath her. falling on her butt over, and over, and over again. and she would not give up. by her 4th time around she mastered it and was running on the ice with some help from my right hand. (holding her up so she wouldn't be black and blue.) her persistence left me laughing, crying, shocked, scared, and proud. is there anything this girl will not do? i couldn't help but also dwell on how big she is getting. she is finally at the universal size where the world will offer her everything. ice skates that fit, mini grocery carts, even roller coasters. as she skated by my side, i couldn't help but say good bye to a part of her "babyness". gray- your little body makes me want to weep. i want to hold you forever. bind you, always keep you small. but you are growing. this is making me sad. happy but sad. please let me rock you for at least one more year, sing you lullaby's. your feet may grow, but i pray you never grow out of my songs. your sweet little face, and how you favorite things are mints and daisy's. this sweet side of you, i want to cradle forever. triple lunge, or not.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Thursday, October 23, 2008

I live here.

today before graycen's nap i read to her from "James and the Giant Peach." i love this story. now i am going to go and search on for that movie for a stocking stuffer for her. (oh yes, i am in such christmas mode and want to be done with shopping by the first of december. is this likely? no way. but i will try."


yesterday i had graycen's parent teacher conference. i am so proud of my little girl and i want to shout it from the roof tops! she's amazing. she is doing so well in school, grasping things so quickly that it is freaking her teacher out. we were in tears laughing so hard about how clever graycen is and the funny things she comes up with. her teacher's are so sweet and graycen has a really great bond with them. when we were in florida her teacher told me that she had had "graycen withdrawal." i mean, i love graycen, i think she's great. she's mine. but for her teacher to go on and on about her... well i was just grinning from ear to ear and as proud as a mother could be. 


i live here! i absolutely love new york. it is my favorite place in the whole world. and i get to live here. i can't believe jonathan and i have been so fortunate to make our nest here and settle in as mommy and daddy birds raising our chickling. it's pretty cool and we are so blessed. today is an absolutely beautiful fall day and i am loving it. 

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

What's A Princess to do?

Graycen is in a princess stage. she loves hearing the stories of a helpless woman needing a man to come in and rescue her and make the princess believe that now she is living a fairy tale. what is this teaching her? yikes, i hope this passes soon. but the dress up to go along with these stories are incredible. i watch her transform before my eyes due to a $12.00 wig and a lot of glitter. i surprise myself at how much i like it. she has a wonderful imagination and i get to go along for the ride. when my sister and i were younger we would make up these stories of an indian princess on an island. we would chew wild mint leaves and make daisy wreathes for our hair. we would stay in these characters for days. i get to relive some of that with graycen. she has this sort of beachy, hippie, fairy tale thing about her anyway, so i can't help but buy into it. 

"momma- i got my shoes from my fairy god mother."

"graycen, i got my shoes from"

"no mommy, you got those from your fairy god mother!!" (in a very angry voice.) yes, yes, i got them from my fairy god mother. and we live under a mushroom and there are giants that are going to crush us, and we'll have to eat green beans, lots and lots of green beans, and then we will be invisible. i guess you could say that i help out a little with her stories. 


on a different note. graycen has the preschool curse. a runny nose. yuck. nasty. gross. it's lasted since day two of school and i have yet to see it go away. i am about to name the snot that runs down her face because i feel we are so intimately acquainted. poor gray. she is now O B S E S S E D with wiping it. her nose is raw. all her jackets and sweaters are so rough on her precious little peach skin and it's breaking my heart. she feels fine and tells me it doesn't bother her. but oh, i know it does. the heat is turned as low as it can go before we freeze, she has her humidifier on in her room, and i am constantly shining up her face with aquafor. i don't know what else to do. do they make a puffs plus with aloe, lotion, and a tie to keep her hands behind her back? 


today before nap we ended with a lovely poem that graycen has grown fond of.

"Who Knows if the Moon's"

who knows if the moon's
a balloon, coming out of a keen city
in the sky- filled with pretty people?
(and if you and i should

get into it, if they
should take me and take you into their balloon, 
why then 
we'd go up higher with all the pretty people

than houses and steeples and clouds
go sailing
away and away sailing into a keen
city which nobody's ever visited, where

 Spring) and everyone's
in love and flowers pick themselves."
-e.e. cummings

Monday, October 20, 2008

pumpkins 101.

i just love fall. pumpkin flavored everything, the crisp air, comfy sweaters, pomegranates, pies, fires, snuggling, and the list goes on. when graycen and i flew in from florida last friday we got a real treat. we flew over the hudson valley peak week and the mountains looked like they were glowing. it was a sight i will never forget. it's really chilly here and we decided to have friends over and take advantage of the "fallness". we went to get pumpkins on saturday and came back to our house and cooked, drank red wine, and had the fire going. the guys watched sports, the ladies cooked, and the kids played. it was perfect. we have such dear friends and were so lucky to have spent the day with them. on sunday, we carved our pumpkin and took naps. later that night jonathan and i watched old woody allen movies by the fire. we spent the day in pajamas and i cooked muffins. it's good to be home and back into our routine. graycen went to school today and was so happy to be back helping her teachers and playing with her friends. after school i took her to the park where she played in the leaves and we watched the ducks on the pond. she's sleeping now and i am going to try and grab a few zzz's myself. 

Sunday, October 19, 2008

The Sunshine State.

In a blink of an eye. that could sum up my life right now. we are already back from Florida. we spent the last two weeks there. it went by in a blink of an eye. graycen and i were blessed to spend some quality time with our family down south. we were also blessed to have amazing weather when we were there and the availability of my mom, aunts, sister, and grandmother. it was a week of powerful woman, filling my soul and spirit with the motherly, lovingly, godly ways they live, and graycen and i got to soak it all up. there is something about the idea of "it takes a village" that i grew fond of while i was there. it was so natural to be surrounded by so many women who are all on the same page as me... someone to take graycen to the bathroom, so i could keep talking to my sister. someone to keep swimming with her in the pool, so i could go shower. someone to give graycen a bath so i could call jonathan. if i could be granted another set of hands they would be the hands of someone in my family. thank you all for the endless amounts of help i got when i was visiting. this trip was healing, nostalgic, full circle, funny, sad, and a learning experience. while visiting, graycen discovered and mastered the art of the tantrum. by the third day i was wondering what had happened the the graycen i use to know. it was pretty easy to figure out. my tired threats were falling on deaf ears. my threats.... meant nothing. boy, is she smart. the first couple days of my trip we were at my sister's house. we went to disney world, where graycen met every princess from every fairy tale that was ever written. i myself was smitten when she was serenaded by the mad hatter. graycen had also requested that she dress as "snow white" and we took her to down town disney aka another place for parents to blow money faster than it can be made. we ate at rainforest cafe and walked around. all this time, i was snapping away, taking pictures left and right.... only to play around with my camera later that night and accidently delete them all. (insert: nervous breakdown.) okay, well after fixing my camera i braved taking pictures of the rest of our trip. it was absolutely lovely. i came away learning about my family, and strengthening relationships with them on a whole other level. there is no bond like the , "i totally understand how horrible you feel right now that your daughter is screaming in public and every one is looking at you like you shouldn't be allowed to have children" experience to bring you closer together. my family is beautiful. and i am so happy to have given birth to a daughter who will also learn so much from these women. mom, danielle, aunts, and gran. you are all incredible. i stand in awe. i miss florida. 
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