Monday, November 9, 2009

How Much Fun Can A Little Girl Have...

... rolling down a hill???

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Crawling Up to God.

Figuratively, i sometimes feel like a baby learning to walk when i am praying/worshiping/enveloped in God and His word. i see myself, after faithfully loving Him and following Him most of my life, like a baby beginning to crawl. i see Him as a man, my Father welcoming me to come play on His lap and i can't seem to get to Him. my legs are not cooperating, and my mind is not lining up. i feel like this on days where i am overwhelmed by the sacrifice He has made for me... on days where my own parenting feels like it is falling short and i can't seem to understand the meaning of forgiveness and unconditional... on days where everything that graycen and jonathan do wrong, i point out.
i am still. i try and reflect. i cry. how can i have made mistake after mistake, and He still entrust me with all of this? it's like watching graycen's forgiveness vs. our own. it's so hard for jonathan and i to forgive, the lessons we try and teach her over and over on why not do something again, why it's wrong, why it's bad, to say sorry over and over. but when we wrong her, make horrible mistakes as we are learning how to parent for the first time, her reply again and again is, "it's okay." ... and then on she goes. i wonder, is this how my Father sees me? has He been saying all along, "it's okay." where i feel so unforgiven , and insist on bringing up my faults over and over again to myself... is He whispering "it's okay?"
when i look at dune's feet, lars' knees, graycen's hands, jonathan's eyes, i feel completely overcome from the planning by God to design all of that to help and encourage me to fulfill my purpose in life...
... all because He loves me. i pray i do not limit God. that i can, more and more learn to accept these little lives i love so much as a gift given to me because He knows i need them. i pray that in some way i can reciprocate. today, and everyday... i. am. thankful. :)

Monday, November 2, 2009

Q & A

Q. What do Marie Antoinette, a Spanish Dancer, and Strawberry Shortcake have to do with one another?

A. Graycen's Halloween!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Thursday, October 22, 2009

how do i love you? let me count the ways:)


1. you guys are the best babies in the world.
2. somehow the two of you are endlessly happy.
3. you love your sister, and think all her crazy energy is fun. 
4. you both love to sleep.
5. you both smell so good, i could wrap myself up in it... and often try.
6. neither of you really mind how much i squeeze the living daylights out of your chunkiness. 
7. you smile constantly and started laughing out loud so early. this just brightens my days.
8. you are both so healthy and reaching milestones that i think are way to early for your age. 
9. please stop growing because i love how young you are and want to try and bottle this.
10. and the number one reason why i love you both so much is... you are mine... and you are you :)

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Monday, October 19, 2009

If Breastfeeding bothers you, then why don't you put a blanket over your head.

Well there's a lot of football talk going on in this house lately... but mostly it's over the "double football hold." and while jonathan has his football to enjoy; i've got mine:) i knew i wanted to nurse these boys. when i found out their were two of them i didn't know how i was going to do it. i just knew i would try. fingers crossed, out they came, and then.... one baby there, and one baby there... i got the hang of it. 3 months later it's still going strong. i debated on whether to post a picture of it, and with such positive feedback i decided to pick the most G-rated pic. i have to say that it is one of my favorite parts so far of my time with Dune and Lars. there is something so magical, so euphoric about it. it's a natural high, times 2. and while life with twins and a toddler is not always easy... it's time to slow down, look down, and smile. 

p.s. dune, lars- i hope momma didn't just ruin your future with women, as they google your names in 18 years, and this picture pops up. momma loves you:)

Friday, October 16, 2009

Big Sisters Rock!

I have a big sister and can not express how different my life would have been if i hadn't known her. She fought my battles, she taught me about life, we've laughed, shared, cried, and sorted out a mess of piles that life has handed us over the years. we've gone through it all together. i thank God for her every minute of every day. when jonathan and i were going back and forth on whether or not to have another baby after graycen (because of the hyperemesis) i couldn't get over the fact that i kept seeing graycen as a big sister. partly because she reminded me so much of my own big sis, but more so because i thought it was a role she was born to play. i am so grateful to her and her influence over Dune and Lars. i think they will be such awesome boys for knowing her and having her be such an influence over their lives. watching the three of them last night while i was making dinner brought tears to my eyes. i just had to photograph it. 

Gray and Lars.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Thursday, September 24, 2009

both of them.

I just can't seem to get enough of these two. what would i have done if i had the opportunity to only know one of them! i know, i know... i would never have known the difference. but having them, looking at them everyday, i can't help but think, "what if it had only been one of you guys." it's a heartbreaking thought. i don't even know why i think about it, except that i am so completely thankful that i have them both. i get to know them both. dune, lars, i am so madly in love with you boys:) momma's one lucky gal.

Friday, September 18, 2009

2 months.

The boys had their check-up yesterday. my mother-in-law came along to help me out with it. i was crazy enough to schedule graycen's physical at the same time, thinking kill 3 birds with one stone, ya know? yea, never again. well, it wasn't so bad. gray got her flu shot, and the boys took their vaccines like champs. momma on the other hand shed some tears and prayed the whole time. the boys are now on the chart. having had the set back at 4 weeks old they were afraid it was going to take them some time, but they are both in the 25th percentile. for twins that's great! lars is 10.4 lbs and dune is 10.8 lbs. dune is short and lars in long. i was smiling at these differences. they are unique to themselves. and i celebrate that. 

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Daddy and Lars.

We woke up saturday and the light coming into our room was just right. i grabbed the camera and this is what i got. one day i will look back on these pictures and it will prove i lived it. 

Friday, September 11, 2009

September 11th.

We will never forget.... i am holding my babies extra tight today.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I Get to Keep them:)

Last night, Jonathan and i took everyone out for a walk, and Graycen asked us, "can we keep them? can we keep the babies forever?" i am still getting use to the idea that all three of these little beauties are mine. Lord, what did i do, what could i have done right that you have showed me so much grace... and so much love? entrusting me with these lives, and allowing me to get to know them greater than anyone else in the world. i am beyond blessed. 


i am really getting it lately. i am really getting the balancing act of multiples and a toddler. i can now nurse two babies at once, do graycen's hair, and finish a glass of water, all at the same time. it's like magic... i tell graycen it is. :) 


i wanted to get a little into the boys personalities... i'll start with dune, aka dune buggy, aka sand dune, aka touch down ... so much for a "short name" so there will be no nicknames. dune is a house. he is gaining so much weight so fast and filling out before my eyes. he likes to be up all day, but puts himself to sleep at night. he loves the boobies more than anything in the world, and when he takes a sip of formula, he still acts like he is choking on it, making horrible faces, and gagging. he's been drinking formula for 3 weeks now. he smiles almost constantly, and responded to graycen first. he is her snuggle buddy. he requires the most from me. he likes to be held, kissed, tickled, walked, baby bjorn, co-sleep, rocked, and sang to. he's an absolute light in my life. every minute i thank God for him.

lars, aka, lars man, aka larzipan, aka larsy lars is amazing. absolutely amazing. we say that if he were someone's only child, that they wouldn't skip a beat. we could dine at The Plaza with him and he wouldn't make a peep. he is the most content, peaceful baby i have ever seen in my life. he sleeps like a log, and snores, and makes little purring noises when he eats and sleeps. you can already tell he is getting the most out of life, and loving ever bit of it. he is super funny, and makes the most hilarious faces. he looks just like jonathan, and has a super round head which of course just makes him the cutest thing ever. he loves to be nursed and has really big, round eyes, and when he looks up at me with them, i just about die. 

i keep saying it, that dune and lars and graycen are the best and coolest things to have ever happened to me. i can't believe i get to dedicate my life to watching them grow up and that i get to invest in their futures. i love them all... and am so glad we get to keep them:)

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Dune and Lars.

We are loving to the maximum capacity. you know the kind of love that is crippling. we ache just looking at our kids, and we can't believe that somehow, with all our wrongs in life, we've received so many perfect beings. our little dune is one month old and weighed at birth 6.6 oz. today, he is 8lbs. he is a handsome, beautiful boy with perfect skin and sharp features. i am sure one day he is going to melt many hearts. lars weighed at birth 6.8 o.z. today he is also 8 lbs. he has a full, round face with huge navy blue eyes. we laugh a lot at him. he is jonathan's spitting image. i am in love with both of them. i am in love with graycen who loves them. and i am head over heels for the man that father's these children. we are a family of five, and the boys fit in amazingly. they add a depth and width to me that i didn't know was there. it's been a great month. happy one month boys!

Monday, July 6, 2009

Away We Went.

This is how i looked.
This is how J looked.
This is where we went.
... and this is what we saw.

I think this was the last time we'll be going out on a friday night. i am finding it really hard to get around now that i can hardly walk. should i laugh at that? it sounds funny, but it isn't. i am going out of my mind. anyway, dinner and a movie, nice night, and we love the downing film center. it was a great way to end our social life for a bit. by the way... away we go... go see it. :)

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The Latest...

So, the babies are weighing in at 6 lbs and 5.6 lbs. but they tell me that an ultra sound could always be off a bit. but by the looks of me, i am guessing if they are wrong, it's because they weigh more. i am really starting to tip the scale. the doctors are concerned that i might be developing preeclampsia. my blood pressure was a bit higher that normal on monday... 138/78. for me that is high. so i was sent over to triage for the day to be monitored. turns out i am also anemic, and they are checking my blood again for some other things. fun! they put me on "light bed rest" which just consists of me being lazy and letting other people do everything for me. this is so not my personality. but i said i would oblige. i just want my little guys here. i am so big and walking is so difficult and i know if jonathan and graycen were to tell me the truth they would actually say they are over it too. all i do is complain... and if they are lucky i might end up laughing crazily instead of crying. the three of us spent a good part of last night laying in bed and watching graycen be crazy. it was so what i needed. i hadn't laughed like that in a week. thank you my dear jonathan and darling graycen for putting up with me. i just don't know any other way to handle this all at this point. i love you guys:)

Roller Girl.

I am finding that there are many perks to staying around the house. especially when my company consists of a darling, profound three year old. the latest bunch of fun that we are having is using our garage. we've been getting lots of rain lately, so we've branched out beyond the walls of our home and into the garage. we have a really,  really big garage, and last week we turned it into a skating rink for gray. i pulled a chair out, sat on my butt, turned up some tunes and watched my little one zoom, zoom, zoom. house arrest, i mean "home rest" is turning out to be not too bad. 
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