Monday, November 9, 2009

How Much Fun Can A Little Girl Have...

... rolling down a hill???

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Crawling Up to God.

Figuratively, i sometimes feel like a baby learning to walk when i am praying/worshiping/enveloped in God and His word. i see myself, after faithfully loving Him and following Him most of my life, like a baby beginning to crawl. i see Him as a man, my Father welcoming me to come play on His lap and i can't seem to get to Him. my legs are not cooperating, and my mind is not lining up. i feel like this on days where i am overwhelmed by the sacrifice He has made for me... on days where my own parenting feels like it is falling short and i can't seem to understand the meaning of forgiveness and unconditional... on days where everything that graycen and jonathan do wrong, i point out.
i am still. i try and reflect. i cry. how can i have made mistake after mistake, and He still entrust me with all of this? it's like watching graycen's forgiveness vs. our own. it's so hard for jonathan and i to forgive, the lessons we try and teach her over and over on why not do something again, why it's wrong, why it's bad, to say sorry over and over. but when we wrong her, make horrible mistakes as we are learning how to parent for the first time, her reply again and again is, "it's okay." ... and then on she goes. i wonder, is this how my Father sees me? has He been saying all along, "it's okay." where i feel so unforgiven , and insist on bringing up my faults over and over again to myself... is He whispering "it's okay?"
when i look at dune's feet, lars' knees, graycen's hands, jonathan's eyes, i feel completely overcome from the planning by God to design all of that to help and encourage me to fulfill my purpose in life...
... all because He loves me. i pray i do not limit God. that i can, more and more learn to accept these little lives i love so much as a gift given to me because He knows i need them. i pray that in some way i can reciprocate. today, and everyday... i. am. thankful. :)

Monday, November 2, 2009

Q & A

Q. What do Marie Antoinette, a Spanish Dancer, and Strawberry Shortcake have to do with one another?

A. Graycen's Halloween!
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