Thursday, February 25, 2010


is totally contagious.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Domain name.

i am so happy. last night i took the first step in getting my business off the ground. i set up my own domain. well, don't go there yet because like i said, i just set it up. so picture taking has taken a back seat in the last few years due to a couple of small changes in my life... um, raising three kids. okay, so not very small at all. which would explain my eagerness to jump back in. this is what i went to school for. this is what i thought i would be doing... you know, before i met the man of my dreams, and he slapped a big, shiny ring on my left hand, and got me pregnant with three kids. oh, i do love him so:) okay, i am just so happy! not only are my children the best gift ever just because, but also because through them i have found my greatest passion. having graycen taught me about a whole new world of photography; children's clothing, design intersecting with motherhood, and my complete obsession with children running around in urban areas. my favorite pictures i've taken of gray over the last few years are of her innocence smacked up against the grain of the dirty, filthy subway cars... just for example. see where i am going with this? it's twisted and beautiful. so i imagine that getting this web site perfect, where i am ready for people to judge it, want it, and then hire me, will take about a year. like i said, i've got 6 little eyes, 3 little mouths, and 6 little ears that come first. but soon, around the corner soon, i hope i can photograph other's children, brides, babies, landscape, food... and give people the feeling of what a picture should do. encapsulate time.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010


I still can not believe i have two little boys. AHHH! that's me screaming with joy! yippee, yippee, yippee is what i have to say about that:)my boys are sick and have been for the past week. graycen has a great immune system and has managed to be a healthy horse! (literally. trotting around all of us as we blow our noses.) we managed to get out of the house the other day for like a minute. and of course i couldn't escape the outing without some comments. but i think the best one yet was not what this lady said, but how she said it. i've been told this about, oh, 3,000 times. but when this lady said it, she said it with such great conviction. she said these words, direct eye contact, attitude: "good luck. Your. gonna. need it." and what i said was thinking was "buzz off". when people talk to me like that, when they find out that i have two boys you would think i personally have offended them. and i am sorry for anyone who has had bad experiences with children, boys or girls... but these people have never raised my kids or know them. i know them. and i get to raise them. and for that i thank God.:)

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Happy Ending.

i've recently hit some lows. i've been in a bit of a funk lately. it might be the weather. it might be my brain. i don't know. i think it comes down to a combination of things. without getting into too much detail... things have just been looking bleak. jonathan and i are coming to a cross roads about some things. i've been praying about questions, that um, in my opinion are just taking too long to be answered. at least the answers i want to hear. (way to go on my leaning on God right now. um... not really.) i've been digging deep. the further i go, the harder the plunge. it's been emotional, and tiring. and on top of it, dune, lars and i have all been sick for the past week. i mean wednesday was full of sounds like this: "WAAAAAAAAA! WAAAAAA! WAAAAAA!" but crazily i woke up saturday morning and told jonathan that we HAVE to put the babies in their own room. we went to ikea, bought the cribs i should have come home from the hospital and put them in, and today we set up their room built for two. (originally i thought i'd get away with one crib. Ha! that's before i knew i would have big babies who um, might not want to share everything. hmm. go figure.) anyway, below is a picture of Lars bathing. i got to end the week like that. and really, today was pretty much flawless. just soaking up every bit of my family. it brought smiles and laughter all day. and not to mention that jonathan and i are so excited about reclaiming our room. and a big shout out to God tonight for slapping my impatient self with this bible verse: Isaiah 33:6 "He shall be the stability of your times." Well, i think i will end on that note. oh wait! the boys are actually IN their own room right now. like, right now. so i will write tomorrow about that. i think i might go brew some coffee, because i think it's gonna be a long night.

Thursday, February 18, 2010


This is my sweet little dune. just when i thought i couldn't love any more, dune started saying, "mama" and my heart managed to expand to even bigger proportions. thank you dune. it was like medicine to me, after a long couple of weeks, to hear those sweet little babbles and vowels roll off your tongue and into my ears:)

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Lars crawling.

Oh no Lars!

See this face? this innocent, darling, yawning face? well, lars has managed to take 10 years off my life in the past couple of days. he is on day three of crawling and i keep hearing myself saying stuff like this, "oh no lars, don't grab that!" and "no lars, let go of that!" and "lars stop!"... i thought i had a couple more months to prepare for this. play pin is being bought THIS weekend! i've said for about 4 months now that lars will be that child. the one who grows up and as a teenager is jumping off the roof into the snow, or practicing in any extreme sport possible. really, this kid makes my heart race. will he be the boy that tells me one day to look as he jumps off the swing set and thinks he can fly? thinking of the possibilities of Lars' future makes me tremble and smile. i imagine him one day to be like Max, from Where the Wild Things Are... or perhaps he'll be more like a wild thing. ;)

Monday, February 15, 2010

Living Proof.

i believe in miracles. what about you?


Valentine's was an unforgettable one this year. Lars crawled to me!!! and tonight after dune's bath he looked at me and babbled, "mommamommamomma". yea. i totally freaked out. it was amazing.


dune and lars turn 7 months old tomorrow. we are suppose to get some snow. so i think i am going to take the opportunity to stay home all day and love on my littles.


i hope everyone had a great holiday weekend... and a rememberable one;)

Friday, February 12, 2010

I'm in Love.

Happy Valentine's weekend.


Thursday, February 11, 2010


Wow, dune and lars are getting so big! i just can't believe it. graycen was potty trained at 20 months old (way to go gray!) ... wait, where was i going with this? oh yea, the last size diaper she ever wore were size 4's. well, yesterday i had to buy the boys size 4's and they are only 6 months old!!! hahaha, jonathan and i could not stop laughing about this. i know that they are not too big though because when they are at the dr.'s and get checked for growth she tells me they are perfect. so you know, i have to believe it. i mean, i think they are perfect!!! my precious boys:) how big? sooo big! how big? sooo big!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Wordless Wednesday.


i am having an off day and don't know what to write about. it's snowing. it's beautiful. jonathan didn't go to work today. i am thankful and grateful that all of us are healthy. but inside, my heart is aching. i've had a dear friend's, best friend go through something very, very traumatic yesterday. without going into too much detail, as i am sure they would like to grieve privately, she was pregnant with twins and lost them both. it was in her third trimester. i'll leave it at that as you can all imagine that the pain is too much to bare for them right now. thinking about this for them, well... i just don't know what to say.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


Who would i be without images like this? without moments like this in my life? i gain, i grow, i am encouraged, and i am validated... from this. my prayer for my children is that they are always close. close as a relationship will allow, knowing the inside out of each other. if they can get through life like this, how well off will they be? gets me giddy to think about it and certainly makes my heart grow leaps and bounds.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Let the sun shine in.

i was sitting and melting while i watched dune stare at his shadow. i am so in love with you my dear boy.

Weekend, part 1.

I had one of my very best friends come and visit us for the weekend. she came with her husband and her 8 month old daughter, lilah. lilah was a little bubble of baby goodness and brought us all tons and tons of smiles. i am going to write all about our weekend and post some really adorable pictures with the three littles later on, but for now i will just quickly add that we all felt the way jonathan looks in the picture... really, really excited. (even before the two double lattes). nothing like good friends who know you like a book to make for a very wonderful time. we love you guys!

Friday, February 5, 2010

Valentine's around the corner.

i'm really, really diggin' white this valentine's. i hinted towards white roses and am smitten about these decorations. i think i will be making it with graycen this weekend and hanging it from the mantel. <3

Yet another goodbye.

The boys have had enough. me on the other hand, well i am having a very difficult time. i've known all week that this was coming. actually i've been talking about it for a month now. how hard it was getting to breastfeed them. the bigger they were getting the more complicated it got. really i don't blame them at all. but they are over it. they turned away from me last night at bed time. i lost it. i sat there on my bed. breast pillow, dune, lars and tears were dropping all over them. i cried for the next hour. they had bottles and fell right asleep. i sat downstairs so sad and thinking. for the last month they have been falling off the breast pillow, and bunking heads as they ate. dune had started becoming so distracted and would never stay latched on. lars had started biting me. it's not the first time i cried during a feeding, either. i felt for weeks now that i might not be able to keep doing it. well, last night the boys gave me my answer. this morning they nursed at 4 a.m. perfectly. at 7 a.m. when they were up for the day they wanted nothing to do with it. again, turning away from me. biting me. and totally distracted. i am going to keep trying through out the day but i have a feeling that this part of my journey with the boys is coming to an end. i am thankful though, that i was able to nurse at all. i mean, i breastfed twins!!! and when i look back on my achievements in my life, this will certainly rank high.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Birthday Wishes.

We celebrated jonathan's birthday last week. it was such a wonderful time. here are some of my favorite pictures from the day of his birthday... we all got fancied up and had a blast. we threw balloons at him when he came home from work, and he blew out his candle in style, stuck in his favorite dessert in the world, ciao bella espresso gilato. we love you babe!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Bye Bye bouncy seats.

Dear Bouncy seats,
You quickly became my best friends, my extra set of hands, and i honestly don't know how i would have made it through the last few months without you. you helped me feed the babies, hold the babies, the babies slept in you for naps, and even at night time. you were there for their first foods, and there when i was completely overwhelmed. we traveled with you. we played in you. you really are so great. but sadly the time has come to say goodbye. today i pack you away, send you on your journey... to the basement, where you wait until i figure out a new home for you, a new baby to hold, and new mommy to help out. the boys no longer need you. lars has learned to crawl off of you, and dune screams when he sees me getting close to you (i know, i know. such a hard way to leave things.) but i will never forget you. thank you bouncy seats for all of your help.

love, a completely grateful momma of twins.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010


oh dune... you have the sweetest face. and the greatest little personality to match. while the rest of the house was napping the other day i got to hang out with you alone and snap these pictures. i treasure these moments my little buddy:)

Monday, February 1, 2010

Blue Hill Farm.

I really want to be treated here for valentine's day:) *hint hint honey~

Black and White.

My heart overflows. The most i have ever learned about God i have learned from Jonathan, graycen, and the boys. i have learned what it means to love unconditionally, to willingly sacrifice, to believe in miracles, and to love life. after years and years of walking in my faith, i am finally getting what it means to believe. i have less questions and more answers. what do you think, does looking into the face of the ones you love answer a lot of your questions about life?

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