Friday, May 28, 2010

Mama Bird.

i ordered this necklace for myself yesterday. with three pearls, of course:) and the word "mama" on it. it should be here in three weeks, and i can't wait~

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Wordless Wednesday...

... on thursday.


Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Things that are making me smile.

lunch dates with graycen.

these new earrings from Anthropologie.

this blanket made by graycen's great grandmother.

sunflowers that show up at my door with an encouraging note.

swiss chard bigger than 10 month old babies.

a best friend who come all the way from Canada to make me laugh. CHEERS!

and really tall lego buildings made by a really proud 4 year old.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Fun in the Sun.

Today there were so many reasons to smile. i am thanking God for each one of them.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Cancer Journal.
i have started a blog about my cancer. i don't want to talk too much about it on this one because this is my "pretty" blog... the one i write for my kids. the one where cancer should never have crept it's ugly little face. it's my job to keep away the bad guys... cancer is certainly one of them.

Monday, May 17, 2010

What to do when you find out you have cancer.

you go to a place that will make you laugh the hardest.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

I Might Lose My Hair...

but i will NOT lose my faith.

I feel very sad to let you know that this week i got news that i have cancer. i had been feeling a bit off for about two months and went to the dr. and they found a tumor and found that it is in fact cancer. the cancer has spread and they do not know how bad just yet, but yesterday i went for my PT scan so will know what stage i am in by monday. by tuesday i will be starting treatment. i will be doing radiation and chemotherapy at the same time, everyday, 5 days a week, for 6 weeks. at the end of the 6 weeks they will look again to see if the cancer has gone away. if it hasn't by that time, it will be reevaluated and i will know then what the next step of action will be. for now my mom has moved in with us and will be taking care of graycen, dune, and lars. my mother in law will also be helping out full time, as i have been explained to that treatment is very difficult and will take over my body with a "bone weary" fatigue. i will feel like this for months so i am thankful to say that i have amazing people surrounding me offering up help in any way. i will be getting graycen into therapy so she can talk to someone through this process and someone professional can help her through it. the boys luckily will be too young to notice too much. this news has saddened our entire family. i have heard before that when one person in the family gets cancer, everyone in the family gets cancer. i see now that this is absolutely the truth. i've been crying almost continuously over this, not just for myself, but for my dear jonathan who looks at me and feels completely helpless... who can't imagine a life without me. i am aching for him. i am crying for my children that their mother has to now fight for her life, to be here with them.

i don't know why this has happened to me. when they told me they found something, i went home and prayed for God's will. that whatever that may be, that i just wanted to trust that this is all part of His plan. it's not my life anyway... it's His. and because of that, i have complete faith that i will be carried through this.

the more i know, the more i will let you know. for now i just ask that you please pray for me and my family. i DO believe that prayer is Powerful.

Thursday, May 13, 2010


motherhood completely changed me.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


This little girl lights up my life.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Let's Go Mets!

Jonathan and i went to the Mets game on Saturday. it was so much fun. we guzzled Hoegaarden, ate hot italian sausage, acted crazy, laughed till it hurt, and cheered so loud. it was a great day spent with my guy. we came home with lots of goodies for our littles, including mini baseball bats for the boys. jonathan kept imagining taking dune and lars to their first game, but i have a feeling graycen and i will be crashing every one of them. :) oh yea, and the Mets won!

Friday, May 7, 2010


like a busy bee. yea, this week has been nutso. me included. i found myself getting deep and heavy with God a couple of times which threw me for a loop, a little outside of my comfort box with the usual things i know about Him. so that was reaaally cool. and jonathan has been working late every night... like, i've been eating dinner with the kids alone. those are always very sad nights for me and my kiddos. but to quickly catch you up... top ten things of the week, (in no particular order.)

1. graycen is loving soccer, and i am loving her loving it.
2. car needs brake work and we get to pay a small $1200 for that problem.
3. i've been really sleepy and for mother's day all i want to do is sleep till the middle of the afternoon and wake up to some hand picked flowers.
3. dune is cutting teeth and wants to be snuggled all night. i both love and hate that.
4. i've been delving deep into this simple line, "i want to be a life that leads." but boy is that HARD!
5. i've been praying all week that i can teach my littles to be leaders and never, ever followers... only follow Jesus, and then in that case, it's all good.
6. the yard needs some major tlc.
7. i miss jonathan and really can't wait to kiss him all weekend.
8. we are going to see the METS play tomorrow! but i think it's suppose to rain:(
9. with all the leaves on the trees and so green, our house on a hill feels like a tree house. this makes me very happy.
10. i came up with a babies first birthday theme for dune and lars. i love parties and planning them. and i think this one will top the cake:)

everyone have a beautiful mothers day. and remember, every mother is a working mother.


Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Saturday, May 1, 2010

What dreams are made of.

Graycen tells me her dreams last night.
"I had a dream that i was in the garage with daddy, and i was wearing my belle dress, and a crown. we were fighting dragons and daddy was a prince. i also had a dream about you. you were getting pecked over and over by a goose."

ummmm, what???

so this is what we are doing today. taking the kids to the Film Festival for family day... with family films, and lots of fun, fun stuff! it's going to be about 90 degrees today. i actually love being in the city when it's incredibly hot and sticky and sweaty. reminds me of summer days and then cool summer nights. :)

i hope everyone has a great weekend!
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