Thursday, September 30, 2010

Burned out.

 i am feeling burned out. i feel like i could use a year vacation in a remote location all to myself to get a smidgen of strength back that i have recently lost  due to uncontrollable situations. florida is helping but posing new challenges... like the repetition of cleaning, cooking, entertaining, bathing, did i mention cleaning, feeding, and putting to bed three little lives who are looking to me and at me for all of the support they need. while i understand the bigger picture of why jonathan is in new york and why i am here, it doesn't eliminate the fatigue i battle with constantly. i'd like a cabana boy and a drink and it's only 10 a.m. this morning i had to go in my room and close the door for a moment because i thought i might fall over. the bending down and picking up motion is almost enough to do me in permanently. but the show must go on folks. cancer, twins, 4 year old, rain, sun, season to season. but not to be all gloomy... there are massive works, blessings unreal that i am witness to everyday in my own life. some are BIG and some are small. the pictures up top are filed somewhere in the middle. for that, i am thankful. and while it isn't a miracle that my kids can make me laugh, it is a miracle that in the middle of the storm, God has thrown me a life jacket in the form of Graycen, Dune, and Lars.

Like- jonathan coming tomorrow for the weekend.

dislike- appointments with doctors who have to tell me the brutal truth about the statistics of the cancer returning. blah.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

New Hair, Best Smile

I think this might be the cutest hair cut on a girl with the best smile ever. 

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Monday, September 27, 2010

Beach Livin'.

 quite possibly my favorite shot of the day.

as you may already be able to tell, i am quite fond of florida. it is in my best interest. the weather here is a metaphor for my life. it might be sunny one moment and the next rain. but eventually the clouds push out and the sun starts to shine again. 

Friday, September 24, 2010

Live Strong.

parent strong. 

love strong.

friend strong.

wife strong.

lead strong.

daughter strong.

sister strong.

friend strong.

raise strong.

eat strong.

stand strong.

pray strong. 

trust strong.

praise strong.

faith strong.

be strong.

live strong.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Happy Fall!

So, what did everyone do to welcome in the fall? i took the kids for subs and then we went and got some ice cream at this place i use to love when i lived here over 10 years ago, and today they still had it... pumpkin milkshakes! mmm. then we went to the water and walked around a bit and enjoyed the palm trees and humid air. it's a bit of a challenge to feel like fall is in the air when it's still getting to be 90 degrees during the day. but hey, when have i not been up for a challenge? here's to a happy fall, and kissing the summer goodbye. gladly i will say goodbye to one of the most difficult seasons of my life, and welcome any bit of change... even if it's a bit humid:)

New Parks!

we've been finding so many new parks to go to around where we live. the other day we found this one, and the combination of the heat and the breeze made it perfect for playing. i love this picture of lars on the slide with his little side part and super blonde hair. total beach baby:)

Monday, September 20, 2010

God Gave Me You.

I know i've mentioned countless times on this blog how blessed i am to have graycen in my life... and i'll say it again. this little one of mine adds a joy like none other. how i've enjoyed watching her and learning her over the past four and a half years. and now i am beyond excited to be inspired by her to live this next year to the fullest. we are discovering things together and on new adventures everyday, and i am proud to be her momma. God gave me you. and i am honored that He did.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

A Place to Heal.

Beautiful, Beautiful by Francesca Battistelli

Don’t know how it is You looked at me

And saw the person that I could be.

Awakening my heart

Breaking through the dark.

Suddenly Your grace...

Like sunlight burning at midnight,
Making my life something so
Beautiful, beautiful.
Mercy reaching to save me,
All that I need.
You are so
Beautiful, beautiful

Now there’s a joy inside I can’t contain.
But even perfect days can end in rain.
And though it’s pouring down
I see You through the clouds
Shining on my face.

I have come undone.
But I have just begun.
Changing by Your grace.

-thank you Lord for revealing Yourself to me in my darkest hours and promising me that You are not gonna bail. i serve an amazing God. 

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Garnet Hill Rug.

this rug is from Garnet Hill and can be found on line here. it is also the perfect rug i searched long and hard for dune and lars bedroom. i am so happy with it all laid out over the hardwood floors. fittingly it's called Sunflower Ticking. and i have it in the 6 x 9. perfect rug for the best little boys:)

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Our New Place.

We've moved in. it's been a crazy last three days and i am feeling a bit loopy having said goodbye to jonathan on monday, and putting three kids to bed for the past few nights without him. something feels terribly wrong about that, but i am praying to stay focused and my eyes on the bigger picture: total peace. next few steps will include, graycen getting into school, the boys into a story time, walks galore, and the beach. oh and possibly the most important, seeing my sister as often as possible. for now, this is what we've set up for our surroundings. it feels wonderfully put together, and very much me. and i must not forget the palm trees, oh the palm trees!

the boys room.

graycen's room.

family room.
master bedroom.

the other end of the master bedroom.

there's more, but those parts are still covered in boxes. what fun would that be to look at? will post more when it looks good enough to show:)
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