Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Inside the Box.

how much do i love that my kids will play with a box for hours and hours and day after day? for dune and lars second birthday i'm thinking i'll set up the yard full of cardboard boxes and at every box it will be a different station... like one will be coloring, one will be painting, one will have sand, one will have treats, and so on. i think that would be a pretty rad birthday, don't you? 

graycen used this box to set up a nice table for a family dinner for her critters. she put plates in front of them and drew meals for everyone that attended. then i strung a chandelier made from christmas lights. it was a great time!

Monday, March 28, 2011

I Never Lost My Hair.

On Saturday night, after putting the kids to bed, i went in my room and had a pretty intense couple of hours praising God through crying and repeated thankfulness of my life. I fell asleep and had a dream where i was basically reliving my cancer diagnosis. I wrestled with that a bit until fully waking myself out of it. I then walked into the kitchen for a glass of water and saw that it was 3:30 a.m. How long had it been that i was just reliving that horrible experience in my sleep? but it wasn't fully my experience because in my dream i was losing my hair. it was vivid. 

chunks of really long hair were coming out of the side of my head and i was tortured by feelings of disbelief and shock. 

as i stood in the kitchen, my heart was pumping. hard. and fast. 

i could feel my hair draping my shoulders, so i touched it. 
then i ran my fingers through it. 
then i twirled it.
then i went and laid back down in my bed and felt my hair cover my pillow. and brush against my back.

laying there i was thinking. how. i never. lost my hair.

but. i have one bigger than that. 
i never lost my life. 

but. i have one bigger than that. 
i was given... eternal life. 

because the God that made the wind, lives in me.

and the day i recognized that, and met Jesus and fell in love with Him, was the day i was given such a gift. 

It's about bringing heaven to earth. it's that the diagnosis, or threat of cancer, or any other occurrence in my life involving death has no hold over me. because Jesus came to teach me that the gift of eternal life spent with Him started the day i told Him I loved Him.

What a freeing feeling that i can let. go. of. fear. and experience heaven here. 

There's a quote that i focus on quite a bit that puts it in perspective for me. "Jesus got what i deserve. And i got what Jesus deserved." 

Jesus hung on the cross. I get freedom.
Jesus hung on the cross. I fell in love with my husband.
Jesus hung on the cross. I gave birth to my children.

Jesus hung on the cross. 
I got life. I have life. I am alive.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Rock On.

earlier today graycen and i were playing charades, and after guessing hers right, she said to me, "you got it mom! Rock on!" i am not sure i am completely prepared to have a fully capable, independently thinking, and way too quickly advancing five year old in my house. i get like this every year around this time. i start to shake at the idea that my daughter will never repeat being four. i have one more month to enjoy this age that she will never be again. 

i took this picture from the top of a double decker bus this past september before we moved to Florida.  i had plans to frame it so that we kept our minds on our goal... of after a year, moving back. but it never made it in a frame. but we also have not forgotten our goal.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Beautiful Day.

with my beautiful Gray. 

this was while we were in Orlando this past weekend. this park is across from my sisters house. it makes me think of the old south. the day was golden and warm. a blanket of beauty. and my little girl who captures all sorts of life on her face, will give me joy looking at these for years to come. we will certainly miss Florida when we are back in New York, but i am so very happy to have these memories stored as photographs for many years.

Monday, March 21, 2011

When in Rome...

we went to Orlando this weekend to visit my sister. she took us to a fish camp. a fish camp! i guess when in florida, do like floridians! and you know what? we liked it. :) the kids saw alligators and went bananas! and i was happy to see my littles so excited~ 

Saturday, March 19, 2011

A Saturday Morning Tale of Two Brothers.

it happened one saturday morning. dune came crawling into mommas bed, snack in hand. enjoying the bed to himself and his snack, he thought, "this is the life."

"some things really do taste better when they don't have to be shared", he thought to himself as he reclined back onto the pillow.

mom had always said, "no snacks in bed!" but dune was sneaky and knew she would never find out.

then all of a sudden brother lars came and ruined his perfect little plan. "no snacks to myself, and now ma will find out!" 

lars said, "hey, i'm just here for some fun, now give me some snacks and then i will run!"

as lars cuddled up to get a share of the goods, 

dune began to cry and wine, as he wanted it all to himself!

not taking it very well, dune began to pout. and pout, and pout and pout!

until he gave up the bed. and lars took his spot .

dune needed a moment,

and then went storming out.

meanwhile, back in mommas bed, lars was enjoying the victory of the bed to himself!

he was enjoying alright. 

things were looking pretty good up on the bed all alone.

when suddenly dune came back in the room. this time with a drink in his hand!

the brothers decided they were just thirsty and hungry that's all.

and it is better to love than have nothing at all.
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