Friday, July 15, 2011

Happiest Birthday of All.

this morning i took the kids down to the Hudson River to take it all in. I went there with the idea that i would focus on my life, reflect on where i've come from, and look forward to where i am going. we were walking around for about 30 minutes. i was feeling the moment. the sky, the air, the mountains, the kids laughing, me standing there to watch it all. i was thinking about tonight; the new dress i bought, how jonathan is going to come home early from work, the great vegan restaurant where we are going to pick up take-out. i was thinking about me. we walked by a bench with a man sitting on it and he stopped me and asked, "are they twins?" "yes", i said. he then went on to tell me how he is a fraternal twin. His brother was killed in a plane crash when he was 32. He lost his twin brother at the age of 32. this made my heart break. i stood their looking at dune and lars and imagining one of them facing what this man has had to face. the man went on. he told me how just like graycen, he has an older sister who is three years older than him and his brother, and how she is still alive. they faced the death of their brother together. this made me cry. i thought of graycen being a solid rock for something that either one of them might have to face one day that seems unbearable. he went on to tell me how he grew up in poverty to an alcoholic father who drank himself to death. he was raised by his single mother who made everything for them. one of his favorite pictures is of him and his brother at the ages of 6 where they are in polka dot jumpers that their mother made them and they are resting their heads on each other and smiling. i watched the details on his face as he told me this story. i knew he was thinking of that moment like it was yesterday. i then asked him if he was married. he told me he just lost his wife of 60 years. at this time he began to cry. picture this, we are on a bench, in downtown Newburgh with people walking by with their children, dogs, coffee, and this man begins to cry. i sat down next to him. i asked him his name. he told me his name is Mr. Clark. when i sat down, he couldn't talk. the memories of his wife were flooding in and he couldn't talk. i began to cry with him. we sat there. for a moment we were quiet. graycen was playing with dune and lars in front of us. we just sat there. and then i asked Mr. Clark if i could pray for him. still crying, he nodded yes. i asked graycen and the boys to come over so we could pray over Mr. Clark. when i put my hand on his back, he felt like my grandfather. graycen came and laid her hands on him, lars crawled into the radio flyer and dune crawled on him like he was his great grandfather. i prayed out loud for Mr.Clark; for the healing of his heart, and peace that surpasses all understanding. i prayed that God has a great plan for us to become wonderful friends with Mr. Clark, and i prayed that Mr.Clark not lose hope. when i stopped praying i looked up and saw that he was weeping. graycen still had her hands on him and dune was standing at his feet looking at him. i thanked Mr.Clark for that moment. i told him that God loves him very much and that i hope we see him again. i took the kids back to the car and i began to weep myself. i cried for him the entire ride home and can't stop thinking of this man. 

i know that today is my birthday. i also know that i am a dot to a much greater picture that involves love, truth, justice, and peace. i know that people are hurting. i know we are to be the hands and feet of Jesus. and i know that today God blessed me with the best gift of all, the meeting of Mr. Clark. i know that life is indeed not about me.

i thank you Jesus for the design you have for my life. i thank you for maturing me that i can nurture my children in a way that they pause and pray for a stranger that is hurting. i thank you for your favor. 
i thank you for your gifts. 

happiest birthday indeed. 
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