Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Sometimes I don't have the words.


like when my kids are naturals with animals.
and when they hold each other's hands out of love for one another.
and when dune and lars say, "mama, we best friends."
and when my almost 7 year old is not too cool for her little brothers and instead asks us if we can move her bed in their room so she can sleep with them this week.
and when in the morning, in the upstairs hallway two little boys wake up early and are caught coloring and whispering and when i ask them what they are doing they tell me they don't want to wake their sister so they are playing quietly. 
and when i see my husband coming out of the woods with a bundle of limbs tied up with our two sons that call themselves "the adventure boys!" and they come home and make a teepee for our future sting beans. 
and when i pull vegetables that have been roasting and warming the house for the past hour and we can smell faint hints of rosemary and thyme, out of the oven. and the kids come running in and ask me what i'm making, and that they simply can't wait another second till dinner is ready and so they steal bits of steaming hot veggies right off the pan and complain that it's hot. 

sometimes it's not words that verify life's happenings, but the feelings that i stand present in. the one's i purposefully make associations with by the way the sun looks or the house smells, or how the breeze feels. so when life isn't like this or kids have grown or someone gets sick, that i can tap back into that sunset, breeze, light, sound, laugh, or whatever is might be and remember that it was so so so good. and i was there for it. i am here for it. 
 
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