Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Hot and Cold.

i saw a video on facebook the other day that someone had posted. it was of newborn twins that hadn't figured out that they were born yet. it was particularly touching to watch because i'm a mom of twins. it allowed me to get a glimpse into a world of theirs that i will never know. theirs is a bond that run so deep, so entwined, so connected and no matter how much i try to understand it, i never will. the babies in the video were still holding tight to one another, the way they had in the womb. whenever they were disturbed they reacted like they were falling, limbs flailing.

i cried while i watched this video, reminding me this part of life that i got to take place in. two humans, two babies, growing in the same womb, my womb. dune and lars are amazingly close. watching them reminds me of marriage. they have good days and they have bad days. the are individuals, but much like that video, when life disturbs one of them they both react like they are falling. lately though they have been running hot and cold. one day i will get a sense that one may be more needy for whatever reason and the other one gets easily annoyed. the other night it had escalated so quickly that i pulled them apart and talked to them one on one. "don't you know how special it is to have a twin brother? don't you know?" i want them to see it... but then again i don't. often we get a handle of something important due to tragedy or loss or suffering. i don't want that for any of my children. it occurred to me that they don't know how special it is the same way i don't know how special it is to have brown hair, or two arms, or both my feet. dune and lars are an extension of each other, a vital necessity in their web of life. the only way at this age to understand the depths of what that means is to go without. thank God we are in a season with them where it is cold and hot, night and day, in your face, hugging, yelling, laughing, and crying. this season is one of the sweetest because it reminds me that we are blessed by noise and they are in fact not without... but with.
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